Never
I put the 5 year old to bed and head downstairs. I am clearing the table when I hear her calling. I give it ten shouts, then head up. As I make my way through the floors, it becomes clear it is the 14 year old calling, not the 5 year old.
I go into her room. She is lying on her bed, staring at her laptop. It is her favourite pose. I am in there for no more than 3 minutes. I present to you a gift: A transcript of our conversation.
Me: “Are you calling me?”
14 YO: “Yeah, come in, talk to me”.
Me: “Okay. What are you doing?”
14 YO: “Looking at the guy I got off with on Facebook. Come have a look”.
Me: “Okay”.
14 YO: “He’s hot isn’t he?”
Me: “Yeah he’s quite handsome”.
14 YO: “You are such a fag”.
14 YO: “Want to see the girl everyone fancies in our school?”
Me: “Sure”.
14 YO: “She’s hot isn’t she?”
Me: “She’s pretty”.
14 YO: “You are such a paedo”.
14 YO: “Want to see the girl who sucked off two guys in one night?”
Me: “Sure”.
14 YO: ”Would you let her give you a blow job?”
Me: “No, she’s 13”.
14 YO: “You are such a loser”.
14 YO: “Want to see my ex-boyfriend?”
Me: “Okay”.
14 YO: ”He’s ugly isnt he?”
Me: “Yeah he is”.
14 YO: “Shut up. When will you accept my friend request on Facebook?”
Me: “Never”.
14 YO: “Go away”.
I feel we have a connection.
The Male Nanny.
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